So, I’m officially famous. As you may already know, my dog became a local celebrity several months back. Yes, I was a little envious, but now that I’m experiencing my own rise to stardom, I’m finding it easier to deal with with those previous thoughts of jealousy and resentment that I had developed towards my pet.
Last week I was hired (without pay) to be a swimsuit model. How exciting, right?!? Not so much. I was given less than 24 hours notice to drop 15 lbs., hit the tanning bed 4-5 times, visit my girls at In The Pink and round up my swim suit from God knows where I had stashed it post-swim season.
*Sidenote: I was not actually asked to do any of these things – but I’m an avid fan of Top Model (don’t judge me), so I knew what was up. I wasn’t about to kick off my modeling career without proper preparation.
Come Thursday morning, I arrived to my photo shoot with a Starbucks Green Tea Frappucino in hand, a ghostly-pale tone to my skin, a five-o-clock shadow on my legs and a super-hot swimsuit in my bag. Hey, one out of four ain’t bad, right?
I got my hair and makeup done and I put my cute swimsuit on. I was ready to roll.
We started the big picture-taking process and I felt like a superstar. Okay, actually I felt like a complete dork, but it was fun and the photographer was nice, so I was excited. Technical malfunctions (i.e. genetics) spurred a sudden scrambling for various props – life jackets, towels, coats – anything that could be thrown around my neck and used to cover up my…genetics.
The photographer explained that my photos would be used in a Special Olympics campaign and that my genetics would not be so appropriate for such a thing. At this point, two thoughts occurred to me:
- Once again, my genetics were causing problems for myself and others. Damned genetics.
- I had been asked to assist in a photo campaign for the Special Olympics. Really?