Does anybody else feel the need to forever cherish every article of underwear they’ve ever purchased in their life? Well I do. It’s the most frustrating damn thing, too. I’ve split my underwear up into two drawers – one for underwear tops and one for underwear bottoms. My problem is not that I don’t buy new underwear – It’s not like I go around wearing the rattiest, holiest, most pathetic excuses for underpants known to man. It’s just that I can’t ever seem to bring myself to actually throw any of the old ones away.
I do the same thing with my sock drawer. I tell myself, “Yay! I have new socks – I’ve really needed these because all of my old ones are all bally and thinned out and too gross to wear without shoes. But I’d better not throw those old ones out because I might need them someday!”
What am I thinking? Do I suspect that I might someday need to make an emergency tribe of sock puppets, and will therefore need to be able to access all of my old, worn out pairs for the task? Maybe I figure that since I sleep on the upper level of the house that I might need to one day, again – in an emergency situation – need to tie all of my old socks together to fashion some sort of life-saving rope device that will allow me to scale down the side of my burning house like Spiderwoman.
Whatever the case, I’ve managed to build such a collection of these old undergarments that I no longer have room in my underwear drawers for any of my belongings. It is by far one of the more ridiculous habits I have. I believe I will do a Google search to find out if some sort of USA group exists (Underwear Savers Anonymous). I probably need to hit a meeting or two.
Do you think Dave has the same problem?