Monthly Archives: June 2009

My Underwear Drawer

Does anybody else feel the need to forever cherish every article of underwear they’ve ever purchased in their life?  Well I do.  It’s the most frustrating damn thing, too.  I’ve split my underwear up into two drawers – one for underwear tops and one for underwear bottoms.  My problem is not that I don’t buy new underwear – It’s not like I go around wearing the rattiest, holiest, most pathetic excuses for underpants known to man.  It’s just that I can’t ever seem to bring myself to actually throw any of the old ones away.

I do the same thing with my sock drawer.  I tell myself, “Yay!  I have new socks – I’ve really needed these because all of my old ones are all bally and thinned out and too gross to wear without shoes.  But I’d better not throw those old ones out because I might need them someday!”

What am I thinking?  Do I suspect that I might someday need to make an emergency tribe of sock puppets, and will therefore need to be able to access all of my old, worn out pairs for the task?  Maybe I figure that since I sleep on the upper level of the house that I might need to one day, again – in an emergency situation – need to tie all of my old socks together to fashion some sort of life-saving rope device that will allow me to scale down the side of my burning house like Spiderwoman.

Whatever the case, I’ve managed to build such a collection of these old undergarments that I no longer have room in my underwear drawers for any of my belongings.  It is by far one of the more ridiculous habits I have.  I believe I will do a Google search to find out if some sort of USA group exists (Underwear Savers Anonymous).  I probably need to hit a meeting or two.

Do you think Dave has the same problem?



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Back Up Off My Ears, Man

SPECIAL BULLETIN:  When an individual has a telephone squished to their ear, this is to be taken as a little, red flag that the individual is preoccupied at the moment, and should not be conversated with at that time.  Think of this as the opposite of permission to strike up a conversation.

Furthermore, if this individual makes polite eye contact with you whilst she has a telephone squished to her ear, this is nothing more than a gesture of courtesy.  It should not be taken as an open invitation to begin dialect.

Yes, God did bless the majority of us with two ears.  But contrary to the belief of my next door neighbor, for example,  those ears do not work autonomously and should not be treated as such.


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Friday Night, Stocksdale Style

My friends spend their Friday nights at fancy, uptown places like LaBodega and Figlio’s and Lidia’s.  But come Friday night, in my opinion, it doesn’t get any better than Bob Evans, Merriam, KS.

Sure, the company at my favorite hot spot may not be as swanky as that of the others.  But the food is phenomenal and the price is just right.  The two of us can get out of there with full bellies and a $20 ticket – including tip – every time.  I like the Frito Chili Salad with Avocado Ranch dressing, side of homemade blueberry bread; and Rick eats the Bob Evans Pot Roast Sandwich (I have to trade him blueberry bread for pot roast sandwich bites – he’ll have it no other way).  But we have yet to try anything on their menu that isn’t fantastic.

And you might be interested to know, this particular location recently overcame some major hurdles.  When we first moved to the area 2-3 years ago, we liked to hit the place up for breakfast every now and them (their pancakes completely trump IHOP, in my opinion).  But the service slid so far downhill that we swore off the place and didn’t return for about 6 months.

In a random phone call that I had with the new manager about a year ago – for work-related purposes – I learned that the establishment had been suffering from very poor management issues, which in turn led to horrendous staffing issues, which in turn led to the awful service that was being delivered for a period of time.  This new Nazi-manager gal was sent in from corporate to whip everybody into shape, and she’s done a real fine job.

So now the land of Bob Evans Merriam, KS is a happy place to be again.

The corporation, itself, is doing a ton of things right.  They’ve launched a strong social media presence that is represented by Twitter, Facebook and three – yes, three – different blogs.  Their website is sexy and easy to navigate.  They’re not your run of the mill senior citizen breakfast hut, no sir.

Rockin’ website.  Slammin’ menu.  Oh, and did I forget to mention the table-side magician on Friday/Saturday nights?



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And On That Note…

Thanks to my Facebook wall, which posted a comment from my friend @soseman, who recieved a tip from her friend @michellelamar – I now have a new favorite site.  My boss says that I should take pictures of my notes and make contributions to the site (I write many notes around this office).  I like this site because it feels good to know that there are others out there who are just like me.

This will be my first submission – I hung this sign throughout my office.  It was highly effective.



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More Monkey Stories

I remember going to the zoo when I was little.  I LOVED the zoo.  I’m an animal lover, anyhow.  But the zoo always felt like the most exciting experience to me.  My mom would pack snacks (something else I love a lot) and we would load up our little, red wagon.  We would spend the whole day walking around zoo, looking at animals and eating snacks.

I always wished that there were more touchable animals, though.  Petting the goats and rubbing on the cattle is better than nothing at all, I guess.  But why don’t they let you touch the really cool guys?  What about the giraffes?  Or maybe the monkeys?  Throw me a llama!

I heard about the zoo in San Diego – They let folks pay a fairly reasonable fee to participate in a “Roar and Snore.”  You can go to the zoo to spend the night!  What an experience.  I’ve never really had a desire to visit San Diego…until now!

Today feels like a good zoo day.  I wonder if my boss will understand where I’m coming from if I go tell him, “I’m leaving work to go the zoo.”  I don’t have a little, red wagon.  But I do have money for snacks.


My friend from the Wichita Zoo – I took this picture last time I went.

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It’s A Bird! It’s A Plane! It’s iJustine!

I’ve read some feedback from various blog sources that speculate this girl to be more than just an independent enthusiast of comedy, YouTube and Apple.  Some believe that iJustine is a carefully concocted branding effort for the Apple world and that her efforts are financially backed by the brand, itself (she promotes the bejeezees out of the brand).   iJustine denies these allegations, but I think that whether they are valid or not, the concept behind the allegations is brilliant.

We’ve been warned for years that all traditional forms of Marketing and Advertising would soon become about as useful as tits on a turtle.  And the innovators who have accepted this shift are absolutely reaping the rewards.  So, does it seem terribly unlikely that a major player in the game such as Apple, might have just generated one of the most intriguing and potentially effective viral campaigns yet–Without us even knowing it?

Like I said, whether the suspicions are true or not – this is not my point.  My point is that I think this type of “thinking outside the box” is exactly where our Advertising future lies – and boy is it exciting!

Buy into the hype, or not – Check out the iJustine brand.  I find her videos to be highly entertaining and I think her blog is excellent.

And Apple, if you read this and you do not have a contract currently in place with iJustine, let’s talk about the future of iMisty.  But please know, I’m not cheap.

ijustine poster

ijustine tattoo


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Careful – I’m Dangerous With A Fork

While eating my frozen crap lunch just now, I broke my plastic fork in half.  That makes me so mad when that happens.  It makes me feel like I’m some sort of ravenous fiend who can’t slow down enough to enjoy her frozen crap lunch in a calm, reasonable manner.  Now, I’m reduced to holding the top of my plastic fork like a little shovel, and scooping the frozen crap into my mouth carefully and with a great amount of balance and skill.  I guess breaking my fork was a good way to slow my hungry-ass down.

What time is the next feeding?


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